These days, I'm starting to feel a bit apprehensive about the holidays. As I've done for the past 6-8 years. Holidays to us means forced "together time" with the family. Which means my mother will start cursing at us for how we turned out while we're trying to eat a holiday meal as fast as we can, just so we can go into our rooms, lock the doors and put some headphones on, since she will have some music on (which we all hate) turned on REALLY high while she preaches against us. It's lovely. Nice china, good food, lousy company and lousier ambiance music. It makes me glad that I have to work the next day after Thanksgiving and Christmas.
But anyway, it's too early to worry about that. What has been bugging me a bit is that once again I am starting to feel "homesick". I miss my IL friends and my IL home with them. But it will be another 4-6 months before I can go there again. Actually, I have no idea what my time frame is this time around! It's usually either April (when they have time off and conventions are going on), or the summer time.A look at my Bluebook tells me that I start planning for next year's trips in December, if just for budgeting reasons. Darn. Too early for that as well. Maybe I need to go back to drafting Christmas cards...
I saw some people start planning 2013. I need to get that ball going too! Maybe I'll take another look at how I am doing and update my Goals tab. It's been needing some keeping up for a while. Have a great Saturday! Stay warm!
I wish you could come here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I would make sure you were totally smushed by the crazy times and love we have for each other. Just know that eventually you will have your own family and you will be so different from your parents. Does your brother and his wife come over for this also?
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe you need to look deep into your heart and see if IL is a place you would rather live, a place you could be truly happy. You deserve happiness
My brother and wife do come over. It just adds a new layer to the awkwardness, since they both have to stay on my parents' good side, even when they disagree with my mother. IL is the place I would rather live and be truly happy in. I just have to linger around for another 31 more months before I can go there permanently!
DeleteOk devils advocate here...why linger? Why do you have to wait to start your life? Can you fund a job there? If it is your family that is keeping you here do you think that they wont have new emergencies in 3 years!
ReplyDeleteDo you think your brother and sister will grow up in 3 years Life us to short, you have done all you can Now live for you. I apologize if I crossed a line but you deserve more
Trying to get all of my finances in place before leaving. I AM leaving in 31 months. With the way the economy is, I 'think' I can find a job. Reason I am lingering around is because I am preparing (financially, emotionally and professionally) before I drop a stable job and make the jump. By the end of those 31 months, I would have my professional cert (making me more valuable and hireable), have 6 months of expenses in savings, no debt, and hopefully a reliable car. Last thing I'd want is to drop it all and fail out there. I wont take that chance, I guess. I honestly don't think they will grow up in 3 years. That's exactly why I am making plans to leave, so I can be physically severed from them.
DeleteI don't think I could handle a Christmas like this! Can you come up with a "reason" to excuse yourself an hour or so after you arrived? It just seems like a solitude Christmas would be more uplifting in your case. Just my 2 cents:)
ReplyDeleteI have "excused" myself from stuff like my sister-in-law's babyshower, but it was early enough to make it reasonable (like 5pm). However, they dont eat dinner until about 9-10PM, which makes it hard to make any sort of excuse!
DeleteI must admit that your second paragraph made me cringe. My father ruined special occasions as much as possible so I totally get where you're coming from. Personally, I have made a point of clearing negative people out of my life and that includes close family. If people can't treat me with the respect that I show them, I don't need to be around them. It's just another day on the calendar but, boy, the expectations and hype can make a difficult living situation even worse. You have a future plan to create your own life and live it the way you choose. Keep taking steps in that direction.
ReplyDeleteConsider this your official invite to Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house. We are pretty boring but I promise you food and a good time for the most part
ReplyDeleteHa-ha. Please don't tempt me. I'm crazy enough to accept... trust me, my friends have extended invitations they never thought I'd take, but I'd take them up on it.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear that holidays aren't enjoyable. :-( My family is definitely not without its share of challenges, but we all do get along & manage to have fun & legitimately enjoy being around each other for special events. I realize that's rare & appreciate it so much.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have anywhere else to go than your parent's home for the holidays, then consider volunteering in a homeless shelter, group home, or senior home. They will be happier to have you than it seems your family will be. Also, I have always been a firm believer that you can make your own family with friends. To me family is completely different than relatives. I think many people make the mistake of thinking they are the same. Blood does not equal family, love and support equals family. Maybe because I was an only child, it was easier for me to "make" a family.
ReplyDelete