At work, we normally get together with Social Services and provide for 1-2 families' Christmas by buying, wrapping and donating toys for the children, blankets, clothes, coats and usually a food gift card for the parents. This year we decided to try something different: we contacted Adopt-A-Bear.The preliminary info they gave us was vague at least. We contacted them back in August, hoping to hear from them by October. But not hearing anything, we contacted them on Friday morning, and they were very nonchalant; they said they'd drop by that afternoon. We got a tree and the tags; we had requested 20 tags for an office of 9 people. We were given the impression we had to provide 1-2 gifts per child, plus clothing.
Not such luck! We have to get at least 5 gifts per kid. Each of us got 2 children, and we'll try to split the last 2. We were all a bit shocked at the amount of gifts and some of the requests. I had planned to just buy for 'my kids' from my misc./personal money as I've done in the past, but with 10+ gifts, this will need a separate budget. And it needs to be done by Nov 30 instead of December 15...
It is kind of cute what some of the kids were requesting. Lots of dolls, Power Rangers (that stuff is still on tv?!), Cookie Monster pjs, barbies... And though I'm not one to judge, some of the gifts were rather unusual to what we had gotten in the past. I'm talking about Xbox games, Xbox controllers, Nintendo 3DS games, typewriters, etc.
I got lucky with my two girls; the 6 year old is asking for baby dolls and kids DVDs (princess themed), and the 12 year old has me puzzled... I don't want to sound inept to race, but she's African American and wants a 'hair appointment'. My extent of a hair appointment is a trim every other year, so I'll be going to local African American salons and asking them what does a 12 year old want. She also wants boots with fur (we were all humming to that song), belts and necklaces. I've already started looking online for the boots, and found some decent deals. I need to get more familiarized with kid's fashion first and make sure I'm getting her something nice. I don't even get boots myself! So wish me luck. I'm capping my spending at $80, that I may have to recoup in December. But I'm afraid I may go up to $100 if I go for coats too.
Does your workplace/family do anything like this? How do you shop for it?
Wow, this is steep! My kids don't get 5 gifts for Christmas! I thought programs like this are for those kids that are struggling! But with XBOX and Nintendo 3DS...(insert a head shake her).
ReplyDeleteWe thought the same... but as we agreed, we're not ones to judge. Just wish we had known about the 5 thing requirement. 1 child per person would've definitely been plenty.
Deletehere:)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, check out Forever 21 if you have it close. They have nice clearances on belts and necklaces. I got two necklaces last week for about $2 each. They might have boots too!
ReplyDeleteI think there's a Forever21 about an hour from me. Think I can drag my half brother to go shopping with me? Maybe if I bribe him with food! Thanks for the tip. Only necklace I use is a crucifix, and that doesn't come off. My idea of a belt is a man's leather belt!
DeleteI agree thats a little crazy! We adopt 2 families at my work and get each a gift card for a local market, we try to get all the as much as we can but we cant always. Also if you have a 5 below check there they are great for young kids and tweens. Good luck. Oh and if you go out on black friday weekend aerospatale and old navy usually have great deals
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think I may get the boots from Old Navy. They had some decent deals, though I'd be doing my shopping online.
Delete5 gifts is very excessive. I do this as well but we don't have a guideline of how many gifts to buy. I buy one or two and spend around $25-$30.
ReplyDeleteWonder why different Adopt-a-bear are different? I always thought the association was to, well, give teddy bears. Some of the things the kids were asking for were definitely outside the $25 range.
Deletewow that would not make me a happy camper. my department also adopts a family and we each pitch in about $20 and we buy presents for them. This tradition was in place before I started and it's not like I want to be the scrooge, but I always hate when people assume how to spend my money. I do a lot of stuff from my church and I'd prefer to select my own charities to give to rather than feel peer pressured at work.
ReplyDeleteMy brother's workplace does that too (just a small monetary donation and give that to the family to work with). We were not happy campers when we found out about these tags. Chances are we will go back to Social Services next year!
DeleteI'm a parent and my kids don't get everything they ask for. They know that any list they make is a "wish list" and they may get SOME items on the list, but inevitably, not all. Some items may be substituted with something reasonable/affordable. Keep that in mind!
ReplyDeleteThat's a very good point. I just feel bad regardless. I'll try to give them what I can.
DeleteGood luck staying under budget! I'm sure the kids will be thrilled & it'll be worth every penny!! :)
ReplyDeleteI have a post coming about my son's hilarious wish list, and if he provided it to someone else, I would die. There are crazy random things on it, but he's 5. He has no idea "what's appropriate", he just knows that he gets to make a wish list, not that he'll get everything on it.
ReplyDeleteI think it's perfectly fine to buy what you can & want to spend, not what the organization is telling you is required. You're doing a great service, & 5 gifts is kind of nuts.
I don't think kids shouldn't not have nice things just because they're poor. This is so they can somewhat experience what middle class kids experience during the holidays, and know what it's like to have something nice for once when they've been accustomed to having nothing.
ReplyDeleteI don't think five gifts is excessive. I also don't think Nintendo 3ds games are that unreasonable. They're $30. The system itself might be a little pricey, but I think we all know that kids have gotten that for Christmas before.
It's just about them getting to be normal kids for once.
I've worked with "poor" families before. Personally myself and as a company. "Poor" people can't afford the much nicer stuff, and while I agree we're trying to give everyone a good Christmas, I think the underlying thought is that we just got surprised and a bit overwhelmed this time. Had we requested 10 tags, or a child per person, we could have definitely provided more, but it came out to be more than we were expecting. Also, we could provide a whole box of toys for our social services kids in the past for less than $30/per person. To us, $30 for one of five items is slightly high.
DeleteBack home, you'd receive 2 toys (barbie for girls, legos or water guns for boys), then a lot of smaller stuff.
Aha... I "C."
ReplyDelete;o)
Alternatively: I "C" Paris, I "C" France... I "C" someone's.....
ReplyDeleteUnderpants? I should get them some undies too!
DeleteTanner, you have to know how these kind of charities work. The staff does not coach or limit the kids when they are asked to fill out their wish list, so of course the kids are going to put down stuff they want, the stuff they see on tv and see other kids have. They aren't thinking price and unless the parent is there and guiding them otherwise, they will put really expen$ive stuff as well as little stuff. Small kids have no concept of cost usually.
ReplyDeleteBut for a charity, especially in these times of cutting back to ask for FIVE gifts per child? The adults running it are either trying to fill the holes in the smaller donation amounts they are seeing from the public or they are just out of touch and don't give a crap that they are appearing to be greedy. When times are bad, people will spend less/buy less for their own kids and it would follow that they would donate less to others since there is less extra to go around in their budgets. These charities need to be thankful for ANY donations people who sign up to help give, not berate or make the givers feel guilty when they can't meet their arbitrary standards.
Or maybe this charity puts out that they expect 5 per child knowing full well that they will get less. The old ask for more than you want/need so you get at least what you want, right?
I like how the Salvation Army does it around here. Each child has a tag on the tree with 1 clothing item they want and 1 toy they want. By being reasonable(this is a more depressed than the national avg. area)in requests, they are helping a greater number of children get some joy this Holiday.
We asked, and they fully expect at least 5 gifts. On our first exchanges with this charity, we were giving the impression that it was just one or two per child. And really, we had no problem showering kids with affection and gifts for Christmas. But as mentioned, we're an office of 9 people, and we'd get one or two families, for 4-5 kids total. We'd split clothes and toys, blankets, socks, undies and all that. So maybe a total of 25+ gifts altogether. But with 20 kids at 5 gifts per, that's 100 gifts. We definitely feel a bit overwhelmed. I don't know about you, but I somewhat prefer quality over quantity on this matter.
DeleteMe again.
ReplyDeleteI was on a local online community group of Xmas Angels. People who for whatever reason couldn't provide Xmas for their kids could ask for help and those who joined to help would help whomever they wanted. It was suppose to be for people who missed the cutoff for age for the org. charity's toy drive(the teen kids)or the ones who didn't sign up in time or just didn't know about it. We were like a safety net group.
While it was a great idea and all it didn't work out well since there was no way to check that the folks asking really were in need and not just scammers. Over the last 5 years I have helped many kids/families through that group. It worked well for a couple of years but then it became a game of "who had the most pitiful story"....to get the sympathy and the attention of the angels. And then we began to see the scammers....people who asked but once they were checked out, they weren't needy, and the people who asked for stuff under multiple email covers and names. And then the ones who had people shipping them stuff all over the state and then never said a "thank you" or were heard from after the boxes arrived. Then they started asking for expensive electronics....and the Angels were thinking, "Gee, my kids doesn't have that and I don't buy that kind of stuff for mine, why are these kids expecting us to buy $$$ stuff for them?".
Then we found some of the ones being helped locally were taking the toys that were sent for their kids, and putting them on eBay and selling them for cash! And parents started requesting cash and gift cards and then used cars...it just got so out of hand.
After 5 years of this and being scammed on 4 occasions I said enough because it got impossible to discern the ones who were honest and needed the help and the ones who needed a moral compass. I have to find another way to make a difference at the Holidays that doesn't leave me with a really bad taste in my mouth for my fellow human.
You know, back when we first started (through Social Services), we weren't 'careful' at all. You know, we'd give the parents Visa giftcards instead of, say, grocery store giftcards. We'd put in store receipts, in case they wanted to return the gifts or exchange sizes for the children... but one of our co-workers knew one of the social services people, so we always got a bit more description on the families. And sadly, we found some bad apples that spoiled a whole bunch. So while we try to be more careful and selective with gifts. I'd suggest getting together with your social services offices. Even though their programs aren't perfect, they do provide some decent screening. "Some".
DeleteThat's nice of you to do that. We did adopt a families at my old job and everyone had a great time picking out different things. I may pick from the angel tree at Walmart after reading this post. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteMy Aunt worked with a group of about twenty kids in need year round through her church. When it came time for Christmas, they asked all the kids what they wanted. They expected the requests to be somewhat reasonably priced (stuffed animals, sports gear, ect.) put a lot of the kids were asking for iphones. The kids stuck with their requests and the church finally decided to get a block of ipods with wifi connection capability (essentially an iphone that doesn't have the monthly phone service, I forget what these are called). They were pretty nice, maybe $200 each. When the kids got them, they were overjoyed. One kid who never talked to anyone came up and hugged my aunt. I thought that the gifts were too extravengant at first but you could see that the kids felt like they were "normal" for a change.
ReplyDeleteMy family always choses 2 children about the same ages as our own two. I'll admit, I check all the cards on the tree to find the ones asking for gifts or certain categories (i.e. Arts and Crafts) that I know I can shop for without too much trouble. My problem is that we don't always get enough details - this year one of the children had a specific game title listed but when I looked it up online the game came in 3 formats: Wii, DS, and Gameboy; so I couldn't get the game at all since I didn't want to choose the wrong one.
ReplyDeleteWe always make one of the gifts a book or 2, and sometimes an assortment of art supplies (crayons, markers, construction paper to balance out the cost.
Good luck!
I do sort of wish they'd be more thoughtful in describing tags. We had one girl that wanted clothes, an 11yo, but what does clothes for an 11yo look like? Is she into dresses/skirts, girly stuff, or more sportsy things like hoodies and track pants? But I guess the system is ran that way, so no use in trying to push the issue!
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