Last December, we were given a bonus at my full time job. It was a small amount, and I said a bit about it. I was VERY thankful for that bonus... but that was bonus 1 of possibly 2 bonuses. I didn't mention it on my blog because I wanted it to be this hidden treasure. A buried ray of hope for me. Then I finally received that second 'half' in March. The sum was $2000! I was so beside myself. I decided to hide it. From me, from you guys, from the blog... and hopefully for Murphy, for I feared if he knew about it, he'd come and snatch it.
Well. He learned about it and was not happy. And so did my parents, apparently. Let's go back to that rather dark time in my life, which was March-April. Just after receiving the bonus, I also got my tax bill. I was upset, since I had been instructed by my brother's spouse to set my deductions as they were, so I'd break even. Needless to say, I did not break even. Not even close! My tax bill came to... remember? $2000. Not weeks after getting this $2000 bonus, something had come to claim it, and it was partially my fault for not looking at my tax deductions.
Instead of paying interest on my taxes (which is ridiculous!), I took my $2000 and paid it in taxes. I was pretty hurt, but not as much as my pride or bank account. Slap #1. In that same month, I also handed all of my EF and extra funds to my parents so they would buy a car that still sits in the garage. Slap #2. But I've already beaten myself too much over that story, so let's fast forward.
After learning I'd get nothing back from that car purchase ($1500), I just felt obligated to myself to earn back my $2000 bonus. I didnt care if I needed it, if I wanted it, or what I'd do with it. I just wanted it back. I owed it to myself! So with the perfect blog excuse of having to pay taxes in monthly installments, I created this illusion of a debt. I 'owed' $330/mo for 6 months for tax purposes, until all $2000 were met. Not only did this keep me from having to confess to having such amount in the first place (and losing it), but it forced me to come up with an additional $330/mo to pay for it. It has severely crippled my budget since April, but I am getting there. In September, I finally meet my dues and arrive at $2000. I think I will be at peace with myself.
What will I do with those funds? I have no idea. Can't say a bonus has ever proven to be so tough on me. It came so easy the first time, but it was sweat and tears to get it back the second time around. Have to learn from my mistakes someday. I'll tell you tomorrow why I brought this topic out of the blue...
I understand about book-cooking, about taxes, about not paying interest on taxes (even if I actually do pay interest by borrowing from one source so I don't have to pay higher interest to the Fed or state), and I understand about painful setbacks and excruciating earning-back of money. If you see how I've chosen to make my money now, you'll understand what I mean. I look forward to reading more tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI've seen bits and pieces of your methods, heh. I can appreciate borrowing from one place to pay another to avoid some interest. I just will never get paying interest on taxes!
DeleteYour parents are awful. You're an adult now, you need to get away from them and focus on paying back your debt and fixing your financial messes. Any further involvement with them on your part is only going to lead to more bad things. They have no remorse, no conscience and no sense of right and wrong. You don't owe them a thing. Move away, get another job, don't give them your number. You deserve better than this. I know you're too good of a person to enjoy watching them squirm when their personal atm walks out of their lives, but really, you deserve to leave them in the dust. Do it for you. You've put up with enough of this shit. Be done with them. They're never going to change. They've shown that.
ReplyDeleteI've never posted here before but I am familiar with your story. I have a horrible mother myself. I guess I'm just lucky that she never stole my identity, but I'm sure she would have if she hadn't had my grandparents to leech from. She has stolen a decent amount of money from me over the years.
Get them out of your life. Yesterday. And quit paying the car loan. Switch it over to your father's name, or whatever. I would suggest you try to report the ccs your mother took out as fraud. Who knows, you might not have to pay the rest, which will free up money for your student loans. Just fix this.
I can understand you are terribly upset at my situation... trust me, I am too, but I can't and most likely will not take the steps you recommended. I just can't do it. I'm in the workings of moving away, and until that time comes when there are 700 miles in between us, I'll just try to minimize damage.
DeleteYou have a misplaced sense of loyalty toward them that I just don't understand. You're biologically related to them, but that doesn't mean anything. Shared DNA doesn't equal love. So I don't understand what you mean when you say you just can't.
DeleteAre they abusive? Are you afraid they might try to find you or do something to you? I ask only because my mom is abusive and has tried to throw objects at me and threatened to kill me.
If I were you I would want to put 7000 miles between them and me, but that's just me.
we all do the best we can at the time. the good thing is that you're on track to get things evened out.
ReplyDeleteYup! I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can. I'd like to start breaking even at some point.
DeleteI agree with the above poster... Your parents continually pull fast ones on you... :( They're toxic.
ReplyDeleteDrinking a bottle of bleach would be less toxic than his parents. I'm absolutely livid just reading about it.
DeleteAlas, even if they are, I just can't seem to get away until I move away in 3 years...
DeleteI have to agree with everyone - that is horrible.... you have to do what is best for YOU and YOU alone! Good Luck
ReplyDeleteI blame the best of me. I just can't dump them if I tried. Not in my personality to go to such extremes against people...
DeleteUGH. But I am so proud of you for earning it back. I hope you do something for yourself. Take $500 and use it for YOU.
ReplyDeleteThe $500 are definitely for me! Actually, the whole $2000 are. I really covet a new-to-me car, so if I go that way, it will pay for a car. If I throw it into a CD or something, it will be for new-house expenses! I win either way... as long as it stays with me.
DeleteI've already said how I feel about your family(it wsa months ago)and you know it will never end until they either pass away or your break all contact with them.
ReplyDeleteI had a toxic parent too and that was the only thing that saved my sanity, to break all ties with them. You have to save your own life man!
I would be happy to be your foster mom if you lived around here.
Seriously.
And I wouldn't even hit you up for a loan....EVER! ;-)
They only people you need to hide your finances from is your RL family, not us. 8-))
I know, I know. I wont go hiding stuff from you guys again. And trust me, I am really trying to the best of my own ability to get away, but even at that, I'm still 3 years off. I can't cut all ties with them until I move, which is in 3 years.
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