Sunday, October 16, 2011

"When will you do something fun?"

Honestly, I hate this question. This question equates to the gamer's "don't you have a life?". Now, this question comes in a myriad of ways, but it is always looking for the same response. Some other forms of it is: "Why wont you come to XYZ? (place/event)", "Why don't you do something fun?", "When will you start enjoying life?", "When will you do something for yourself?" And the list goes on.

Case in point: this weekend. My older brother and his wife call me on Friday as I am grumping and sorting stuff for my other job. I'm tired just thinking I have to work, but as always, my job is a nice break from everything, and I even get paid for it... win-win. So the call is about them asking me if I wanted to go to some fall festival happening this weekend. I apologize and say I have to work on Saturday (he's well aware I do). They ask me why cant I call off work. I say I cant, and that I didn't really have enough notice to request off. They say I should join them on Sunday, my only free day. I keep my ground and say that maybe some other time, given decent notice.

I don't want to come out as ungrateful and bitter, but I REALLY do not like going out "other people's way" and not my way. And I quite honestly hate being the third wheel between my brother and his wife. I am not an extremely outgoing guy, and honestly, I like to be left to my own devices. My idea of fun does not have to match anyone else's idea but my own. And I hate having to explain what my idea of 'fun', because people have a pre-determined idea of what "fun" SHOULD be for everyone, and stick to it as a founding principle. I also hate having to explain the answer to the questions I posted above...

I will do something fun when I feel like I can enjoy a fun time. Can I have a fun time knowing how bad my (and my our parents') situation is? Spending as much as $30-40 on a fair I had no interest in going, possibly skipping work (my only means to build up savings)? I know I cant. And it'd be awkward. And I'd have to fake I am enjoying it, but I wont be. I am trying to enjoy life as much as I have clearance for, holding out as a way to get a bigger, better reward later on.

Do you guys about the Marshmallow Test? Those experiments where they give kids one marshmallow, and promise another marshmallow if they don't eat the first one by the time the adults re-enter the room? Yes, I am saving my marshmallow. Those kids in the experiments do not know when the adult is scheduled to come back in the room... or at least, they dont have much sense of time at that age. I know when mine is, down to the month. Not sure if that is an advantage or a disadvantage, but I'm going to hold onto my marshmallow until then.

I agree I need to have fun to break these dull moments, but I've already scheduled some fun MY way. It may not sound fun for anyone else, but that's alright. It just has to sound like fun for me and the person/group I am going with.


  1. Oh I SO agree with you! Why do people feel like they need to determine how we should enjoy ourselves. I'm quite capable of working it out for myself and needn't cost a lot of money.
    The other question I hate is " what are you doing (or did you do) on the weekend?"

  2. Exactly. Could not have said it better.

    On the marshmallow thing though. I would have to know how long a wait before I decide if to eat it or wait. It's all in the details for me.

  3. Everyone has different ideas of what is fun and relaxing. I love to knit and crochet, but hate going to clubs. I like small groups, I like reading blogs, I hate facebook and don't understand twitter.

    As for the marshmallow...well...i might take a bite and wait a bit


  4. I hate it when people try to get me to go somewhere. And then I really hate it when I cave and then if I have a good time, they just rub it in my face the whole time. And I really don't like spending money on something I don't want to do.