My lease for the current apartment ends June 30th. I have already moved out half the boxes (winter clothes, electronics, unnecessary extras) to my parents' house. I figure, if I do it little by little, it will not be such a burden. Of course, that leaves the whole decision of location up in the air...
I have seen ONE place since February, which outside of the location, it was not a match at all, not to mention too crowded to add another tenant. This time, I wont rush into another random place just because I have to leave, so... my primary alternative is that come July 1st, if I have not found a great match, I will move back with my parents. And here are my reasons for it...
1) This may be misguided, but with my mother out of the country for months on end, it's nice to just hang out with dad. When I move next year, such time will practically become nonexistent. Even once my mother returns, I only have to deal with her at night time... and I've gotten good at self entertainment these past years.
2) I'd pay rent, probably $500, which in turn will help with their bills... and anything to help them makes me feel better. No, I wont be enabling. Just paying just rent for fair, open and free-range housing.
3) Speaking of free range housing... I get a place I can do whatever the heck I want without having to be mindful of other peoples' quirks. I can sew at 8pm. I can cook whatever I want and leave it in the counter, use the oven, make a mess (clean it up after, of course). I can go out for a jog at 6am and not feel self conscious about making noise.
Moving back there wouldn't be permanent, and it may not happen altogether, if the perfect place does show itself. I will continue to look as far as November, but if nothing comes up, I will stay at my parents.
Not everything is rosy about this solution...
1) Higher gas costs; 1hr of commute each way, 5 days a week. Yuck!
2) Possibility of getting dragged into my parents' financial mess, again.
3) Dealing with my mother
But yeah, after two bad decisions in moving, I don't want to get into a third one. It wont necessarily save me money, but I think my sanity has been running a bit haggard these past 2 years, and I am ready to reclaim some time for myself. May be a good choice, may be a bad choice, may be no choice at all... but that's my plan for now.
I think that it is a bad idea to move on with your folks. That sounds like a toxic situation. I would look for a studio apartment.
ReplyDeleteI've been looking, but most will add both $200 and another 10-20 min to commute... I would consider a studio at the $600 range, but definitely not at the $700 + 35min commute.
DeleteI gotta agree with ND Chic... do you *REALLY* want to go 'there' again? Think about this one long & hard...
ReplyDeleteDo I want to? Not really. I would rather go back to my original arrangement of when I first moved out, but... it may stop being a choice.
DeleteTread carefully.....I think there is a HIGH potential for you to get dragged back into things, and since you will be living there, you won't have anywhere to go. And the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.
ReplyDeleteReally think on this one....
Not sure staying longer will make me stay, truly. If anything, it will make me go before I am ready, haha...
DeleteI'll throw in a vote that is different than anyone else's so far. People grow and change as they get older, and getting along with the family may be easier than in the past. It's good to keep relationships with family members. I hope you are able to do this and save some money, which will get you better financial footing. Paying rent will make it very easy to say "no" to other financial requests. I hope this works out, and I hope you enjoy the time with family.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. I wont hide the fact I wouldnt say no to the opportunity to reopen channels of communications, but that's still in the dream stage.
DeletePerhaps if your mother stays away a really long time, and with one of your siblings(or was it two?)out of the house, perhaps the family dynamic has changed.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, you are a big girl and you KNOW the pitfalls ahead if you go ahead with this plan, so I think you'll be fine.
I am even thinking this will save you $ in an unexpected way......since you are going to be paying rent, perhaps you can think of that money in your head as the extra $ you use to give them to bail them out all the time, even when you weren't living there. Between paying rent to someone else AND the $ you spent on your family, you may just actually come out ahead on that score....granted you don't get sucked into ALL their money woes and misbehavior with cash. lol
You still need to put your foot down and not let them take advantage of you, the "rich relative". lol
If they start coming to you for every little money emergency with their hands out, be strong and tell them that you don't have it, since you are now having to pay more for commuting costs(which is true).
You'll be fine, in that I have no doubt. 8-)
There's nobody left at the house except my dad, and when she returns, my mother. Everyone else is scattered to the wind. I'm not sure I'd think it as savings, but I am sure I could work something out if it's starting to be a strain... at best, I get cheaper food since I can use theirs, at worst, I'll be buying a good part of the bulk.
DeleteI haven't been following your blog enough to know all the back story. The one perk of moving in with your parents is you won't be stuck in a year Long lease. If it gets terrible at any time you can leave (pending you finding a new place). Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm definitely not a lease person!
DeleteFirst I thought - oh no!! Don't go home!! But then I thought - gee, Tanner really has it all together these days and I trust that she will know what's best for her. Just because I'm 57 and still don't have my sh-t together doesn't mean that Tanner is the same. You really are WAY ahead of where I was at your age. Do what seem right to you - it wouldn't be the end of the world if it doesn't work out. I'm rooting for you :)
ReplyDeleteNthing it--DO NOT move back in with your parents. Your mother has caused enormous harm to you, both financially and emotionally. Is that really someone you want to live with?
ReplyDeleteAnd I paid my own rent for the first time this past week--I feel so proud, even though I'm broke. Moving out on my own has been a positive experience so far. I'm actually MORE diligent now about managing my money than I was when I was living rent free.